Where next?

[Renzoku]

Hi... I'm writing a short-ish [maybe 45 minutes to an hour] film to be done with my friends this winter... I was really blazing on the script last night, but reading through it I felt like I excluded a point where there would be a huge chunk of developmental potential. The only thing I worry about at this point is if the movie runs -too- long and we're never able to finish... Hmm... Well, here. I'll stop bothering you with my radiant anxiety.

So, there's these four teenage guys. The movie opens up with one going around picking the rest of them up, and they drive out to a forest and set out .. to bury a body. Now, they've been watching these woods to make sure no one comes by, and they're fairly confident at this point that nothing's going to go wrong - they'll just stash the body and go. However, they start hearing hunting dogs coming closer as they dig, so they roll the body into a half-made grave, pat down the dirt, and high-tail it out of there.

From there, the rest of the movie goes on a Memento-type spin - not only is its intent to explain exactly what happened that brought them out to these woods to bury a body, of all things, but it also highlights the little psychological warpings that occur in each character's mind as the story progresses. Basically what happened is, I went from the end of the burying scene to the beginning of them going hardcore psychotic and it doesn't feel right that they should jump straight to it - I'm thinking I want to have some scenes with them back in the world, trying to -seem- normal as if nothing happened... And it gradually happens. But I'm stuck.

Currently, I've last left them off at one of the friends' house, on the same night as they buried the body...

Anyone have any suggestions? Ideas and comments on other parts of the storyline or the concept are very much appreciated.

Thanks
- Jason

[nate_dog]

the characters must be defined and well-liked by the audience before you do any crazy psychological whatever with them. Otherwise they don't care for them and you have lost your audience. Remember, people will remember the story more than the style of the movie.

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I LOVE THE SMELL OF NAPALM IN THE MORNING

[Generic Skinhead]

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SHALLOW GRAVE?

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Watch your back Mr Jordan!

[Renzoku]

Nate_Dog - Yeah, thanks for the idea... That's now my basic plan; they come back, ease up... And then they start breaking down.

Generic Skinhead: No, I haven't... Recommendable? What's it about?

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[steven_craig]

dont tell him skinhead - renzoku DO NOT WATCH SHALLOW GRAVE !
it may sadden and depress you, make you suicidal and kinda remind you of a script you are writing...

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Dead girl's dont say no!

[BlackArtsProductions]

nate dog , ... what a load of bollocks. loose your audience? tosh!!! the film viewing world is a fickle now as its ever going to be. people want to watch something thats entertaining. not everything begins and ends with a solid story....come on!!!!!!!

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I told him not to jump...so he didn't. Damn! Don't you hate anti-climaxes.

[Renzoku]

steven_craig - Hey, suicide's no new thing to me... [cue nonchalant smiley mask] I just want to know if it's actually worth watching?

BlackArtsProductions - Yeah... I mean, we have our fair share of gutsy special effects [we're going to be batching up about a gallon of blood for each of the four characters in the movie, including some 'nasty bits' for Alan's suicide headshot] of course, not to the point of being ridiculous. However, we really do want to focus on the writing. There was a "movie" - if you could call it that - that we did last year, and ... It had no planning, or resources. The only thing that looked good was the blood effects.


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[ThomasB]

Shallow Grave worth watching? I'd say YES. Didn't see it for a long time now, but I remember that I really liked that flick back when it first came out.

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ThomasB
http://www.biennavista.com

[BuBu]

Renzoku DO NOT WATCH SHALLOW GRAVE. (just remember its your film and it can never be like any other).
hmmm...now your dilemma............
1) why do they kill the person? if it is cold blooded murder just coz they are pyscho's (not believable but hey!) then do what you like, make the film there minds, let it run where you like but always remember if the audience gets five minutes of stuff they just don't get they are more than likey to leave.

2)If they ahve a very justified reason for killing then let the audience become sympathetic: show the guys doing normal guy stuff.....ahh i could go on but at the end of the day what ever advice we give its probably overused and predictable...break tradition just end the movie when you run out of budget!!!!! Good luck!

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[Renzoku]

BuBu...

What happens is, there's this girl the four of them are into and they take her out to an abandoned house and rape her. This bum happens to be looking for a place to stay the night and walks in on them, so they kill him. Kind of outlining the dark side of my pitiful teenage existence, though it was kind of a scrabble to get one of my friends to play the part of the girl.

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